5 Catch Phrases to Yell at Video Games

For all my knowledge and critical analysis powers, I actually have a different skill that I am much more adept at. And that is yelling at video games. Some of you casuals and novices don't grasp this yet. Hell, you probably think it's awkward and embarrassing. Well, friend, this is what it means to be a master. So take note and remember these; try 'em on. I guarantee you'll be 100% better at video games once you do, and then your ability will sky rocket as it grows on you.

Here are just five examples you can take home with you. You'll want to develop your own, but just take these for starters.

(On a side note, I'm tired of running image searches. Can you tell?)

5. "It's the only way!"

This one can actually either be sarcastic or a war cry. Surrounded by Banshees on a gold map in Mass Effect 3? Use the rocket launcher consumable, it's the only way! More often, though, I'll see someone use the same valuable resource to get rid of the last Atlas on a bronze wave, "It was the only way, I guess" I'll tell myself.

It can also be both at the same time! It's great to shout this in Call of Duty while cooking a grenade in your hands, charging into an enemy to blow both of you up. Some will say you could have, like, just used a machine gun, you know, like the one in your hands. But what fun would that be?

4. "Do what I am telling you to do!" 

or "No one said to do that!"

When button presses don't equate to the things those buttons are assigned to, there is always anger. There are a lot of things that can cause this: lag, having several different actions assigned to one button, clunky animations,  games that recall press sequence, or just bugs in the way the game receives input from your controller or keyboard.

But sometimes one starts to think the game is just being disobedient. When that happens, you gotta tell 'em to knock that crap off! Stupid game!

3. "Son of a bitchin' son of a bitch!"

I consider this to be the most philosophical of the bunch: a declaration of acknowledgement of the unending cycle of problems that is the human condition, stemming from our own flaws and insecurities.

Or maybe I'm just stuttering from frustration when I say this. I prefer the former.

2. "Hiya!" (release your chi!)

Eeeyah! I-yah! Hoo, ha! Ho weeeeeeyagh!

In martial arts, some teachers will tell you to shout out as you exert force in your strikes. To put it more poetically, this is called releasing your chi. It sounds silly (literrally, hearing people do this makes me chuckle) but it actually works. Personally, I think it's the act of letting go of the super ego and giving in to one's id so that destruction will be wrought without remorse. As humans, holding back is required to co-operate with the rest of society so it becomes ingrained in our minds.

But the old teachings claim that there is some kind of spiritual energy that everyone can tap into to become stronger. If that's the case, then it definitely works in video games, too! Try it sometime! Especially if you're doing something like rolling dice in a table top game or something in public. You will do more damage!

1. "Come on, game!"

At first glance this one is just too simple. But the pure mileage this one runs earns its reputation for being the best and horribly infectious. It applies to anything that happens in a game that doesn't agree to your tastes, regardless of the situation: disconnects, bad rolls, lag, choppy frame rate, enemies with one hit point left, insta-death, bugs, clearing an entire level then dying to some random land mine... you name it.

I probably say this one at least a couple times a session, regardless of what's going on. And I've been told by at least one person that he found himself saying it after he heard me. Honestly, I didn't even realize I said it that much until I thought about it. Especially as I play this Avengers Alliance game. There are a million random factors that can either go my way or for the enemy! It can't be helped!