5 Video Game Catch Phrases to Yell at Real Life

Been a while since I made a dumb list. And last time I talked about catch phrases it was things I made up myself (or got from SOME where) that were meant to be therapeutic in treating game rage. But you know what's more aggravating than video games can ever be? Real life. So I'm flipping it around and taking some things from video games that I've heard over the years and found myself quoting out loud at varying situations.

Why? Well, sometimes profanity doesn't get the job done. And these are more fun!

5. "I can't move!"

From: Captain America and the Avengers (arcade)

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGuK8g3XHeQ&feature=youtu.be&t=5m

I have a real distaste for having my movement restricted. So do a lot of people since car traffic is a common ailment among many people on this planet. But what makes this one so much fun- like a lot of these entries- is the delivery. Note the Shatner-esque, dramatic pausing between each word. The hero (they all have the same voice) tries to stand up and shudders in terrible pain, only to collapse back down to the ground.

And who doesn't love being that overdramatic in the mundane situations of every day, non-super hero life? I know I do!

4. "By the gods, there's a psychopath on the loose!"

From: The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion (XBox 360, PS3, PC)

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wpG4TdoGLmE

I don't understand people a lot of times. I know most people don't understand one another. Who made this horrible mess in the office kitchen? Which roommate ate all the food and left the rest of us to starve? By the gods, there's a psychopath on the loose! What other explanation could there be for such a heinous act?

It's also a good mnemonic device for remembering the difference between "loose" and "lose."

3. "Try to transport fuel NOW, you pipeline jerks!"

From: Just Cause 2 (XBox 360, PS3, PC)

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nt9DHAubfOY

This is gonna be a stretch. I can't help it. Is Rico saying that the PIPELINES are jerks? Or the people who made them? I prefer to think it's the former, rather than think this is some kind of weird attempt at English by the Swedish developers who made the game.

When do I say this? Iunno. Whenever. Usually after performing some act of petty revenge, like taking the last piece of company birthday cake when getting seconds because you didn't get any last time.

2. "This is why everyone keeps dying!"

From: Dynasty Warriors: Gundam (XBox 360, PS3, PS2)

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKC0pYL-4gc&feature=youtu.be&t=8m10s

This comes with its own catch phrase to yell back. That being, "Because you keep killing them!"

Sometimes problems in life are futile and pointless. Sometimes these problems are your own fault. It's fun to sarcastically take accountability, I say.

1. John Marston hates nature

From: Red Dead Redemption (XBox 360, PS3, PC)

Sample: "Stupid, damn animal!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VS_Ck6rtVmc&feature=youtu.be&t=1m)

There is a better one I like, but I couldn't find it online: "Stupid nature!" Because, really, nature is stupid. I'm tired of hippies and hipsters talking about recycling this and organic that. Shut up. I'm sitting in an air conditioned room on a couch eating fast food I didn't have to work to make myself. I am ridiculously comfortable. And I despise most animal owners because they're so unapologetically bad at it. If your dog is growling at me, get your dog away from me! Oh, he's "nice?" Oh, yeah. I see a lot of evidence to support that claim.

Rabble rabble rabble rabble! Get off my lawn, you damn kids!

SPECIAL BONUS HONORARY BEST MENTION:

Everything!

From: Resident Evil (PS1, PC, Sega Saturn)

Sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVyOCssIXgQ&feature=youtu.be&t=26s

Everything in this horribly, horribly written and poorly "acted" game is stupidly quotable. I can't pick one thing, nor can I think of relevant situations to say any of this stuff. I just do. And you should, too.

But just take a look at this! It's Forrest! Oh my Ghahd!