-Aliens: Colonial Marines
I haven't played a game based on this franchise that I've liked since the Aliens Vs. Predator arcade game. It just seems to fall into that unfortunate category of games created off of pre-established franchises. And those are generally terrible. I believe the "ET" game for Atari might have started this trend. HOWEVER it is being developed by Gearbox, the company that made Borderlands. So I have a little bit of faith that this game will at least be "tolerable" and at best fans of "Aliens" will be pleased.
I predict I will skip this game.
-Assassin's Creed 3
I've tried to play each of the Creed games at one point or another and always ended up bored. I did find screwing around to be generally hilarious, which may be the direction this series is taking. Am I the only one who finds it hilarious that a Native American is assassinating British officers for America? I keep wondering if this is a joke. I do think they're doing a lot to make this game very different from the previous entries, but most of that is in setting. I'm willing to bet the gameplay will be as tedious as ever. And the fact that you won't have crowded, beautiful cities to explore seems like a dangerous thing to throw away.
I predict I will avoid this game.
-Borderlands 2
I already have spent countless hours on the first game, and actually am in the middle of starting a new game up with a friend that myself and another friend are introducing it to. I did feel like there were a number of things that could have been improved or more in-depth, so hopefully Gearbox will take the chance to do so now.
I predict I will love this game. Possible contender for 2012 game of the year.
-Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
I think anyone who played any of the recent Call of Duty games should be able to accurately predict how this game will turn out. I saw video of how the game will play like Star Wars Battlefront in the single player, which is very different. So maybe that will count for something. Typically I fall asleep within the first level of a "realistic" shooter and immediately have to start screwing around to entertain myself. As such, I've avoided the single player campaign in every single CoD game thus far. The nonsensical storytelling (or perhaps "storyshouting") will likely return, so I'll continue to not remember what the fuck happens in these games. I also heard talk that they'll add so many changes to Zombie mode that it'll feel like an entire game in itself. I didn't hear talk that they were going to make it "fun", so fuck that. For those of you keeping track, this one is made by Treyarch. The "Modern Warfare" titles are made by Infinity Ward. I do trust Treyarch to put more effort into the game, especially with how little was changed in MW3. I didn't come across any talk of changes to multiplayer, which is the only reason to play this game.
I predict I will play the hell out of multiplayer and avoid everything else, per usual with CoD games.
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| So... this SS is a bit dark. Well, it has the most stuff in it. Sorry. |
There was also a handheld that was announced, but I don't care about handhelds. Unfortunately, all I have seen of this game is a bit of a teaser trailer with no actual gameplay in it. Bleh. So the first thing I noticed is that the game looks 10 times more Dynasty Warriors than the previous game, which would be a DRASTIC change to how this game flows. I'm not sure if we'll get to play as Gabriel this time around, or this new white-haired fellow (fans suggest this is Alucard). So long as the original developers get to have control, it should provide for interesting twists in the game rather than feel like they trashed the original. I can't be sure, though, since there were some moments in the first game where I wondered if Hideo Kojima and his outdated Japanese antics interfered with the thought processes of the Spanish developer, MercurySteam. Some of his ideas might be good (I heard the game originally wasn't related to Castlevania at all... I think that was a good change... maybe) but I just hope he doesn't force anything stupid on the game.
I predict I will play this game and not understand it, but will hopefully grow to love it over time. Like the first one, heh.
-Crysis 3
If you own an overly expensive PC and want to show up console lovers with awesome graphics, the Crysis series has you covered. Just keep in mind it won't make you feel better when those console lovers shrug and go back to playing Crysis 3 on their console along with a bunch of other games because they actually enjoy playing video games and not just acting like an elitist dick. Whoa, sorry. That was... unnecessary, ahem. Anywho, I'm not really convinced this is a game. I played Crysis 2 and I couldn't help but feel like it was a "tech demo". Which... yeah, it pretty much is. I'm not sure if this game is open-world or not, but Crysis 2 sure as shit was NOT. Even though people said it was. I don't like being lied to!
I predict this game will be pretty (on consoles as well).
-Darksiders 2
I know there are some people who really loved the first game. I got it used for $20, and felt like I got my money's worth. Something about it just seemed kinda derivative and formulaic. Once I heard someone describe it as "like Zelda", I think I then got it. Also, the setting doesn't work for me. The world is already destroyed, so there's nothing at stake. And the world is so cartoony that it clashes with the tone of the story. This game is clearly going to continue on these concepts, but they are making some changes to gameplay. I noticed there seems to be randomized items and damage numbers now, so it's like a full on RPG and stuff.
I predict I will be cautious and try this after seeing other people try it.
-Dead Space 3
I bought Dead Space 1 when it first came out for full price, I still haven't beaten it. Survival horror is just stressful, man. Despite the fact that this game keeps moving away from horror towards action, it has proven time and again as a superior game to both Resident Evil and any "Aliens" game. Especially since it steals (and cleans up) Resident Evil's controls and does the same for Aliens (at least when it comes to a setting that works for a video game). The addition of co-op won't hurt this new title either since you can still play the game solo WITHOUT a bot helper. See what I mean? Waaay smarter than Resident Evil.
I predict I will continue to admire this game from the sidelines.
-Defiance
This game is being launched simultaneously with a new show on the SyFy channel, based in the same world. This is a pretty risky move, especially when you consider how shitty most SyFy movies and shows are (the writing can potentially be good, but effects? Ha!). It's the first MMO shooter out there, so that's 2 more risks they're taking; the first being that MMO's are terrible and the second being that MMO players are terrible at shooters. Will the players have to... like... aim? In real time? I don't know, man. It does have a distinct advantage of being released on consoles and not just PC, so that will help sales (they stated that each system will have separate servers from each other, so no arguments over mouse aim superiority in PvP).
I predict hilariousness.
-Dishonored
One of the new IP's announced, this is a first person stealth game set in some kind of steampunk universe. There are magic powers and I heard the developers drop the name "Deus Ex" as an influence, so there's a bit of promise. I don't always have the patience for stealth games, though.
I predict a sleeper hit.
-DmC: Devil May Cry
Well, first off I think this game wins the award for "Most redundant title". They probably should have called it "Devil May Cry Zero" or... anything else, but whatever. I'm not really sure who this game is for: new gamers or fans of the series. It looks like some kind of forced reboot more than a prequel. I didn't play the original series for some reason, but it still seems overly Japanese.
I predict a misfire.
-The Elder Scrolls Online
What's great about The Elder Scrolls series is that you get all these cool MMO features, but it's not an MMO! Hey, here's an idea: they should put all the BAD things about MMO's into The Elder Scrolls by making it an MMO! Who wants to make a unique character out of all the skills in the game when they can be forced into a role-based combat system? Hey, let's make exploration of dungeons more fun by having players get yelled at by their guild to go to a specific dungeon to help the guild and then get yelled at again if they don't have the entire dungeon memorized! Yaaaaaaaaaay!
I predict: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
-Epic Mickey 2: The Power of Two
The first game was mediocre so now there's a second one? Who's "Oswald the lucky rabbit"? I don't care, does anyone? Eh, at least people will be able to play this one on a console that doesn't suck.
I predict I will continue to not care. You know what I want instead of this? "Gritty Donald", complete with an "M" rating. Yeah, he could rage out and pummel people to death with his fists! THAT would be edgy, Disney. Not this crap.
-F1 2012
I don't care for racing games myself. I just felt like letting people know that there actually is a legit type of racing sport in the world. NASCAR is straight-up bullshit, yo.
I predict no one in America will buy this game.
-Fable: The Journey
Ha ha, good one! Oh, wait. This is a totally real game. A game where you have to sit there and drive a wagon using a whipping motion with the Kinect. Really.
I predict this game will become illegal after it starts killing people with boredom.
-Gears of War: Judgement
That's right, I added an "e" to judgment. I hate the e-less spelling. So anyway, this is another Gears game. Not much to be said, other than they seem to think people give a shit about the story. Come on. This is a game where cubes of muscle attack other cubes of muscle with chainsaws attached to assault rifles. And if you actually do pay attention to the story, chances are you'll end up scratching your head. I always do, and then promptly forget it all.
I predict I'm going to sit this one out this time. Although it still will be a well-received shooter.
-God of War: Ascension
Boy, oh boy. Talk about disappointment. For me personally, mind you. This will likely be a great exclusive for PS3 owners to taunt XBox owners with (they won't taunt Wii owners at this point because that would just be cruel). I'm disappointed, though, because this is a prequel of some kind. And the gameplay looks too rigidly stuck in GoW's previous games. But mostly I wanted to see Kratos move on to other mythologies like Norse, Egyptian and Christianity. Man... I really wanted to see a game where Jesus says "All is forgiven, Kratos." Then Kratos goes berserk and takes a swing at him and Jesus rips off his shirt to reveal his steroid-infused muscular chest and screams, "Let's do this, Spartan!" And then many fist fights happen. That wouldn't be offensive, right?
I predict I will play this game because my brother will have already bought it anyway.
-Halo 4
The game series that simultaneously put both XBox on the map and killed PC gaming (FPS's were pretty terrible on consoles before this game, which is a pretty damn big genre). A lot is riding on this one, and Bungie (the original game developer) is not the brains behind it this time. From what I've heard, though, it seems like 343 Industries has done a LOT of work on the franchise already: namely comics and novels, which have been adored by the franchise's fans. It also might have an advantage in that people might be tired of CoD and could use a return to the super heroics of Mr. Master Chief. I've heard talks of loadouts and possible killstreaks in the multiplayer, which could mean lovely changes to its gameplay. Personally I am EXTREMELY tired of starting matches with the worst gun in the game and being forced to find a better one, so hopefully loadouts will be REAL (the loadouts in Reach were pretty much a lie) and will mean the guns will be balanced.
I predict this game will sell a lot of copies and that I won't be able to sit idly by.
-Hitman: Absolution
I never played the previous games in the series, but a friend showed me a level where he stole a clown's clothes in order to sneak into a party before secretly murdering some of the party goers. That was one of the funniest intended moments I've seen in a game. No one suspected the creepy clown with the barcode tatooed on the back of his head? No one? Amazing. But as I said before, I don't always have the patience to play stealth games.
I predict this will be a perfectly good entry in the Hitman series.
-Injustice: Gods Among Us
Nothing in the title of this game suggests it's either a fighting game or a game featuring DC super heroes. Guess what? It's both. I'm not some marketing genius or anything, but to me that suggests this title is TERRIBLE. At any rate, this game is made by the same people who make Mortal Kombat. So... it'll suck. Badly.
I predict sales will be hurt by the title, and then hurt more once people get to play it.
-The Last of Us
Developer Naughty Dog has been responsible for the amazing series "Uncharted". This directly means that 100% of the sales of PS3 consoles are thanks to them (math may be slightly exaggerated). But now they have come by with something that will initially sound overdone: a zombie apocalypse. Looking at the detail of the animations, and knowing that the drama of the story will be driven by both interesting characters and some strange concoction called "good writing" this actually stands a good chance to be game of the year when it comes out. Unlike non-games like Heavy Rain, there also is gameplay in this game, too. The ONLY bad thing I can say about this title is that it is a PS3 exclusive. Sadly, Naughty Dog is owned by Sony.
I predict this game will be so good I'll cry. Also because it will be very very sad.
-Lollipop Chainsaw
This title really wants people to think that it's "so dumb it's funny" or ... something. But for fuck's sake, people. This is called "pandering". Look at this shit. They took Dynasty Warriors, made the enemies EVEN DUMBER but gave them a zombie skin. Then they reduced the cast of playable characters down to one, and her list of moves down to "chainsaw" and "shake your ass". If this game costs more than $5, you will be wasting your money.
I predict this will be used as a negative example in all future arguments over whether video games can be considered art.
-Lost Planet 3
Despite Lost Planet 2's best efforts to sink the franchise, there will apparently be a sequel! No wait, it's a prequel. Man, numbers are hard to like... know. At any rate, it's being developed by a Western company, but Kenji Oguro is still the game's director. Capcom hasn't had a good track record of picking out Western developers lately, either, so this will at best be mediocre.
I predict this might be the last game from this odd series.
-Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
Does Hideo Kojima know that's not a word? Someone should probably tell him. The title of this game literally sounds like an album name the show Metalocalypse would come up with. Well, it still needs the word "death" somewhere in there, but otherwise I think that's an accurate assessment. And once again, this game just looks like it'll be too Japanese. I'm sorry! I remember the days when Japanese games defined the art, too, but those days are just long gone.
I predict this game will be exactly as confused as Metal Gear Solid 4.
-Persona 4 Arena
I'm convinced that Atlus hates their fans. Or their jobs, or both. At least this game is being released on consoles and not just handhelds. I'm not sure the same will be said of Persona 5, if it ever comes out.
I predict Japanese people will love this game for a week or two before going back to practice combos in Marvel Vs. Capcom.
-Playstation All-Stars Battle Royale
To clarify, this is actually "Sony Smash Brothers". There seems to be an error going around E3 and the internet where it has a different title for some reason. I haven't seen too much on this game yet, but it could potentially stand to improve on a lot of things that "Brawl" didn't quite do right. Too bad I don't know any PS3 owners who own more than one controller or use their consoles for things other than playing Blu-Rays.
I predict I'll have to see how this game runs on PSN before buying. And Nathan Drake better be S tier, Goddammit.
-Resident Evil 6
Ah, yes. If you ever wanted to play a game that explains how out-of-touch Japanese developers are these days, look no further than Resident Evil 6. At this point in the series, anything remotely feeling like Resident Evil is completely gone. Now you have a bot teammate and super-linear levels where helicopters and random shit keeps exploding a la Call of Duty.
I predict you'll know what I mean once you get to play this game, but are probably angry with me in the present.
-Sleeping Dogs
The title here is also pretty misleading, but that's due to some kind of copyright issues with leaving Activision or something (the game originally was part of the True Crime series) so I won't poke fun at them for that. This looks to be your standard GTA clone, except that you get to be some kind of Kung Fu Chinese person in Hong Kong. Pretty cool changes, I can definitely get behind the concept. I love seeing video games or movies or any kind of story where the hero isn't some generic white guy. I don't know if that's racist or something, but I mean... Tom Cruise was The Last Samurai? You can't tell me that wasn't bullshit. Psh! Marketing! This game is also made by a Western developer. Imagine that, Japan. You and your strange love of Aryans creeps me out sometimes.
I predict this game will be way better than GTA, but it will fly over most people's radars.
-Spec Ops: The Line
There's a demo out for this game right now! You can download it over XBox Live or PSN! And... uh, well that was enough to sell me on downloading a game being shown at E3. This is another realistic shooter. What makes it different from CoD? Well, it's in third-person. Also, the story looks like it might be coherent. Which is kind of a remarkable feat when comparing it to CoD since the story is some kind of homage to "Heart of Darkness".
I predict CoD will overshadow this game, no matter how good this turns out.
-Star Wars: 1313
Ha ha! So LucasArts drops BioWare from making Star Wars games, right? So BioWare makes their own "Star Wars" with Mass Effect. Mass Effect became a huge hit. Now Star Wars is looking to make their own "Mass Effect"! Ahh, hahahaha! Ahhhh. This amuses me. But seriously, it's a third person shooter where you're a bounty hunter in the shady underbelly of Coruscant. Just so long as the main character never becomes a Jedi, I'm sold!
I predict that I will have to have this. Muhhhhh, Star Wars good! Muhhhh!
-Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Blacklist
Sam Fisher turns into some kind of Jason Statham and murders people with his time-travelling Kung Fu. He doesn't even give a fuck if the sun is out as he will wear his night vision goggles whenever he damn well pleases. Seriously though, what's going on with this franchise? And why is Tom Clancy's name still on these titles? Aggggh! My brain!
I predict this will be a fun <8 hour game... with no stealth.
-Transformers: Fall of Cybertron
This is a follow-up to the game "War for Cybertron", and has nothing to do with the Michael Bay films. Even so, it was a bit of a surprise when it turned out that game was somewhat decent. This game looks like it plans to improve on what they did last time (although the campaign mode looks much the same to me so far) so it may even prove to be a "good" game. I heard the developers say that you can spend hours "in the menus alone" on multiplayer because you can create your own custom Transformer. Sweet! I can't wait to fight a bunch of flying dildoes that will inevitably be made by everyone ever!
I predict I will have a good time with this game, but it might require a strong love of the franchise to enjoy thoroughly.
-Watch Dogs
I'm a little in the dark with this one. It's a new IP, and I didn't see too much of the gameplay. Basically it reminds of some kind of "GTA meets Assassin's Creed". Also, there's a bunch of hacking and conspiracies to uncover, so it may be a bit like Deus Ex. It seems to be generating positive responses, but I'm a bit skeptical. Mostly because I'm very picky about open world games; I tend to get lost and screw around and then quit playing.
I predict I will get lost and then screw around and then quit playing.
-X-Com: Enemy Unknown
Okay, so I'm super excited about this game. Not that I'm a fan of the series (never played it before) but it's a turn-style game with Sci-Fi and guns and and and... it's made by Firaxis! "Alpha Centauri" is one of my favorite games, and as outdated as turn-style games are I still love 'em! You know how assholes keep giving money to Telltale Games because they make those stupid point-and-click adventure games? I'm that way with turn-style! Not that JRPG crap where you can't move, though. You need to be able to move, man. Gimme that old DnD feel!
I predict that regardless of how good this game is, I will enjoy it much more than I should.
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