Might & Magic: Clash of Heroes

Rating: 3 out of 3 Stars (why only 3 possible stars?)
Genre: Puzzle; Sub-genre: Turn-based RPG
ESRB: E10
Estimated hours of gameplay (thorough play/quick play): 40/30
Developer: Capybara Games
Wiki page

As far as I know, the only people who use handhelds are women, children, and Japanese people. So I had no idea this game even existed until it one day was being advertised on XBox Live Arcade as it had just been ported over (it has since also been ported to Steam). I'm not really sure how I even came to take a gamble on this game. I guess I just felt like I was ignoring the potential of XBLA or something. But I downloaded the trial, and that sold me enough to immediately get the whole game. That felt like an especially good decision since I was giving my money towards a game that is both out of the spotlight AND gave them encouragement to not just settle on being a handheld title. Those of you who love JRPG's probably know the feeling all too well that the genre just doesn't feel alive when it's hidden away on tiny screens.

Who does this? This is almost as painful as reading a book! Jesus!

The game itself is hard to define. I chose to describe it as a Puzzle game first, since that aspect stands out the most and RPG fans will immediately notice it. But the framing of the game is that of an RPG, and the "combat" is turn-based. This can lend itself to having qualities that would offend fans of each genre, but if it clicks for you then it will click HARD. Now I'm not a frequent puzzle game player, but there have been a few in the past I've enjoyed: Portal, Tetris, Bust-a-Move... the big ones, basically. And I respect them as a valid genre. So much so that I refer to the puzzles in games like God of War, Resident Evil, and all point-and-click adventure games as "non-puzzles." So I get the appeal, unlike things like sports games or racing games. And obviously I enjoy RPG's... who doesn't? I drool over turn-based strategy, too, but I'll try to avoid talking about that too much.

Fuck reaction time. Taking 40 minutes to analyze a single move is hot.

The gameplay is kept incredibly basic: you move the avatar along set tiles like some kind of board game and run into assholes to destroy. It really doesn't deviate from that. There's some minor ways you can explore, and there's bonus puzzles (these have no combat) as well. This game focuses on story and combat. The beefy gameplay hours come from the fact that combat can last a pretty long time. I'd wager something like 30 minutes for a long match. A short match is probably like five to ten minutes. The puzzle nature of the combat is simply matching colors of units together, but there are many types of units to choose from and different combo's and items to use. It's very high on the idea of being easy to learn but difficult to master. It's very rewarding for that OCD/Autistic mentality of RPG gaming. You know? Cuz it's like: "You matched the colors! You get to fuck shit up!" All it needs is some kind of inventory management and a bonus for making a symmetrical attack pattern and it'll probably GIVE people these mental issues.

I MATCHED ALL THE THINGS TO THE OTHER THINGS. I AM NOW GOD.

The story is surprisingly effective. I mean, it's stupidly simplistic. It has this feel of: Gryphons come from Gryphonland, bad guys from from Demontown, you should fight bad guys because you're good and they are bad. Everything is so blunt and obvious. But it works! The voice acting is there and there's an inkling of personality to the characters and the story has a logical arc to follow. So I give it a thumbs up. And the factions have a good variety to them: humans, elves, undead, demons, desert people. All straight-forward, yes, but each one has a different visual style, fighting strategy, and personality so they become investing if you want to try to pick a favorite.

There's also hot anime chicks. Ha ha! Her hair is made of fire... *cough*

I tried playing the online head-to-head and I don't believe the game is totally balanced. I found myself running into the same unstoppable strategy a couple of times. Maybe I'm not the best at it, though. Plus I'm one of those people who uses an underdog character and then complains when I lose. So there's that. But even then, it boils down to luck; getting the right units and the right colors to come to you at the right time since it's all randomized. That ultimately caused me to stop playing. That and the long time to find a match that started occurring (which is likely much worse now). At the same time, I do feel it is a strongly designed combat system. It's at least way better than any card game out there.

1. Buy a powerful card no one has. 2. Lose before seeing card in hand. 3. Sadness.

Conclusion:
If you like matching things to other things, strategy, and a simple but effective story then this game is a lot of fun! If you need realistic graphics, gore, and machine guns then you'll probably hate it, heh.

Because it has a start and end, it'll give you less nightmares than this game. Seriously, this game gives me nightmares.